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Expectations can throw you off your stride

I am reading Gary Zukav's book Soul to Soul. In there he tells a story about his wife,  running a race. It began with a long uphill section, which then became a second stage also uphill. As they reached the end of this stage looking forward to the downhill part of the course they were greeted by another uphill section. Starting to get angry, she thought well everything that goes up, comes down she waited for the downhill section of the course, but no it continued to climb. Struggling with her anger it then dawned on her that the whole course was uphill. She readjusted her thoughts and put her energy into running rather than anger and completed the race.

Portuguese cobblestonesIt got me thinking. When I walked my Camino last year, I walked part of the way from Lisbon to Porto with a Frenchman, Andre. The night before and the morning of our day walking into Porto, which was a long walk almost 28 miles much of it on cobble stones. Andre who was pushed for time and only going as far as Porto had said maybe we will catch a bus. Walking into and out of these large cities you pass through pretty boring industrial areas, so this seemed like a great way around that. And, yes, they were not attractive. It was hot,  cobblestones, like those on the right in the photo, were my least favourite thing to walk upon. Some of them dated from Roman times amazingly, but I was still not liking them however long they had been there. So as I am walking I am thinking over and over, when will we take the bus. As the afternoon went on I was getting more and more disgruntled and angry. I was starting to get very annoyed with Andre when he turns and says "I know you really want to walk the whole Camino, so no bus today." Honestly, I almost cried, this was the furthest I had walked any day. I was tired, hot and my feet and knees were really hurting. Now some people may take that and channel it into the walk.

But like the example above, I had an expectation that I was going to take a bus at sometime. By the time I realized we were not, I was fuming and pretty unhappy. It is only as I read the story above today, I realize I could have enjoyed that day so much more if I had not had the expectation of taking a bus. I did somewhat realize this at the time and let it go and enjoyed what I was doing.

Crossing the bridge into PortoIt was pretty amazing to walk that distance, and to cross the bridge into Porto. Even though we then needed to find a room or a bed in a hostel, which is another story for another day. But I realize now, my expectation stole the day from me. How often do we let our expectations steal a moment, a day, a week, a month or even a year or worse a house or an offer from us because we fume and stew over them. When we really need to let our expectations go and just deal with what is and enjoy where we are and what we are doing.

That is where a Realtor helps when you are looking for or selling a home. We all have expectations and they can cloud our judgment when something good comes along and we miss it if we let our expectations guide us. It can be an offer with terms that are a little different to what we were expecting. It might be a different style of home to what we thought we would like. If you want help selling or buying a Main Line or Tredyffrin Easttown home, call Nick Vandekar, Selling the Main Line with Long & Foster Real Estate Inc. today, office 610-225-7400, cell or text 610-203-4543, email Nick@VandekarTeam.com, website www.SellingTheMainLine.com.

 

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Comment balloon 31 commentsNick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 • February 12 2019 05:42PM

Comments

What an experience . Nothing is perfect is it Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 

Posted by Hannah Williams, Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-953-8818 (Re/Max Eastern inc.) 3 months ago

Hannah Williams I continue to learn from my Camino, the more open I am, the more I learn everyday.

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 3 months ago

Nick,

What a wonderful point you made on expectations spoiling the day.  When something or someone does not meet our expectations, we have learned to walk away in the a cordial manner and as fast as possible.  A

Posted by Ron and Alexandra Seigel, Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy (Napa Consultants) 3 months ago

Don't  Count  your  chickens  before  they  hatch.   A great  old  saying 

Posted by William Feela, Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No. (WHISPERING PINES REALTY) 3 months ago

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 - Your trip was truly memorable and I get the feeling your life lessons from that experience will be forever memorable and you will continue to get new insights for the rest of your life. 

I really like to hear true life stories like your experiences. I find meaning in them just by reading what you discovered. Those last two paragraphs were especially meaningful. The knowledge you gained and your conclusions about life are priceless! Thank you, Nick, for sharing. I consider reading your stories a gift.  

Posted by Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP, Selling Homes Changing Lives (DFW FINE PROPERTIES) 3 months ago

Nick, you make a point that we can all learn from about expectations. They can make or break our day but, the choice is ours. Buyers are often having to face losing a few houses before their offer gets selected in our market and your post made me think of that. They have to adjust their expectations and accept that the first one might not work, inventory is just that low. I hope you'll write about the story of finding a room or bed in a hostel at some point. 

Posted by Amanda S. Davidson, Alexandria Virginia Homes For Sale (Amanda Davidson Real Estate Group ) 3 months ago

Hi Nick,
You are so right in that expectations tend to cloud what fate has in store for us.

Posted by Carol Williams, Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager (Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals.) 3 months ago

Hello Nick - a very good post and definitely gold star-worthy.  I don't know why but the title Great Expectations kept coming to mind as I read about your journey as it compared to the story you are currently reading. Not Great Expectations!  the novel but how we establish certain expectations.  Sorry, back to reality. . .one step at a time. . .

Posted by Michael Jacobs, Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393 3 months ago

Hi Nick- what an excellent lesson for all of us!!! I know that I have often been guilty of letting my expectations steal from me the fun or experience of the moment. We should all use this as a lesson to be in the present and enjoy what is. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) 3 months ago

Expectations and reality are often not the same, guiding our clients to reality is our job. Sounds like you ha a great trip.

 

Posted by Michael Eisenberg, Bellingham Real Estate Guy (eXp Realty) 3 months ago

I definitely need to work on my expectations Nick...;)

Posted by Ricardo Mello, Manhattan & Miami Real Estate Agent (Manhattan Miami Real Estate) 3 months ago

It’s kind of like caring without caring too much so much that you block yourself mentally from your goal

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) 3 months ago

Ricardo Mello It’s a fine line and a balance between the two sides of things to manage expectations. For me it’s kind of about knowing myself.

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) 3 months ago

This is such a great point, that expectations can get in the way of truly enjoying an experience. On another note, I think many times disagreements are caused by mis-aligned expectations. One person expects one thing, and the other doesn't. Going with the flow, and not expecting anything in particular, can make every moment a lot more enjoyable.

Posted by Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat (Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com) 3 months ago

Funny how life can throw you curve balls!  Expect the unexpected and make the best of it right?  Haha.  Real Estate! :)

 

Blessings,

 

Fergie

Posted by L. Scott Ferguson, Sunny Florida Real Estate Professional (Ask4Ferguson - Your House-SOLD Name in Real Estate) 3 months ago

Ron and Alexandra Seigel wise course, sometimes though we don't even realize at first we had an expectation.

William Feela I remember my mother telling me that.

Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP thank you, I am humbled, your comments are always so positive and uplifting. I am always excited to read them.

Amanda S. Davidson thank you. On my route I was actually lucky and was able to find a bed every night. However, on reaching Porto we did have to search through some hotels. But you have given me a post to ponder and see how I can point it to real estate. Maybe as you say the search for a home when buying.

Carol Williams I am trying to learn to accept what is, and not what I want or expect. Not an easy lesson to live.

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 3 months ago

Michael Jacobs one step at a time is the best way, to live in the now and just enjoy.

Kathy Streib very true as i said to Michael above. Sometimes we know it, but we don't live it, it is hard applying what we know often. That is why life is always teaching us.

Michael Eisenberg that is a good comment and when we understand that it can make life easier.

Ricardo Mello I think we all need to work on our expectations.

Laura Cerrano it comes down I think, to working without expectations, I am not sure how goals fit into this, but just letting things be what they are without letting results affectyour attitude, mood or life.

 

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 3 months ago

 

Kat Palmiotti yes, going with the flow, without having an expectation is a good way to live. Life would be more enjoyable.

L. Scott Ferguson if we are truly living without expectations those curve balls will not upset us at all and we will take them in stride.

 

 

 

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 3 months ago

Loved your story.  If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Ha.

Posted by John Henry, Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design (John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc.) 3 months ago

Your well deserved Feature has some great lessons. It reminded me that my accident at the end of November which has slowed me down to a snails pace brings with it the gift of gaining new insight, and evaluating many areas of my life and the chance to meet new people (Surgeon, Nurses, Physical Therapists, etc.) and to enhance one another's lives by sharing our experiences with one another and building friendships I otherwise would never have been part of. 

Just yesterday I was able to meet a woman who just had a similar injury and my PT asked me to go and encourage her ... and I did. It gave me a sense of purpose sharing with her.

So bring on the next 12-18 months ... I am ready.

Thank you!

Posted by Diana Dahlberg, Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563 (1 Month Realty) 3 months ago

John Henry that is pretty much it.

Diana Dahlberg thank you, sorry about your accident, but a good way to see it and glad you felt so good encouraging someone else.

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 3 months ago

Nick, your post is amazing on many levels, and surely points out the dangers of expectations. Being open to what occurs isn't easy, but truly is the best way to live.

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Helping make your real estate dreams a reality (Compass) 3 months ago

Lottie Kendall thank you for the comment and the compliment. Even when we are aware it is hard not to let expectations derail us.

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 3 months ago

                      

                                      Thank you Nick. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) 3 months ago

What an excellent story, and it is so true, Nick.  Managing and setting expectations for ourselves, as well as others, is key. Otherwise, we risk getting caught up in an alternate reality - and wondering why we're off track. Focus is a big part of a realistic expectation - and a successful outcome. 

Posted by Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, REALTORS® in Clark County, WA (ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors) 3 months ago

Hello Nick,  Excellent way of putting the two together and have a great story for us here in the rain.

Posted by Will Hamm, "Where There's a Will, There's a Way!" (Hamm Homes) 3 months ago

Kathy Streib thank you for featuring one of my posts once again, really appreciate it.

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD I totally agree, and often we allow unrealistic expectations to throw us off our stride more than realistic ones.

Always try to tell a story Will Hamm and bring it back to real estate when possible.

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 3 months ago

Hi Nick, thanks to the feature and to Kathy Streib. Most of the time, things happen when I least expect it. Perfect narrative for our day-to-day guidance.

Posted by Maria Gilda Racelis, Home Ownership is w/in Reach. We Make it Happen! (Home Buyers Realty, LLC-Manchester, Bolton. Vernon,Ellington) 3 months ago

Awesome read about expectations, it's amazing how we can decide to change our expectations or prespective on any given situation and it can work out for our good.  Thanks for sharing.

Posted by Graziella Bruner, Associate Broker - Serving Wayne & Oakland County (NCS Premier Real Estate) 3 months ago

Maria Gilda Racelis how very true. have a great week.

Graziella Bruner thanks, glad you enjoyed the post.

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 3 months ago

Hi Nick:

I really enjoyed this post and the powerful message about expectations that you shared. Not only do you have to be careful about the wrong expectations, but one must be willing to adjust expectations when the situation calls for it!

Jeff

Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (Solutions Real Estate ) 3 months ago

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